Paris Hilton's Sportswear Collection

Unfortunately, Paris Hilton has decided to grace us with another one of her “creative” projects – she’s now trying her hand at fashion. Infamous for her skimpy outfits and attention craving blouses/dresses/you name it, Hilton is probably the last person, next to Michael Jackson, who should be creating a clothing line.

Knowing little to nothing about fashion herself, what better person to model the clothes she has “designed” than the creator! Hopefully, the clothes will be a complete representation of herself: tacky, déclassé and overall, a joke.

Things to consider when choosing an ensemble:

• avoid looking like you have fallen into a dumpster that just so happened to be filled with discarded 1980’s music video, Vegas hooker apparel
  
  
• make emphasis on one piece of your outfit. I am so blinded by the overuse of gold sequins and shiny white pleather that, for a minute, I was beginning to ignore the fact that Paris resembles a beat up 55-year-old tranny.
  
  
• take note, as some people seem to have trouble grasping this next faux-pas, including Paris: steer CLEAR of over-accessorizing. Oversized earrings + oversized necklace + a bracelet on each arm = landing yourself a place on Mr. Blackwell’s list of worst dressed.
  
  
• matching was all the rage in the 50’s, but let me just remind you we are in the year 2007 and that’s beside the fact that your skin color and hair should never match
  
  
• and finally, when did chola earrings come back in style? That’s right, they didn’t, so leave them to the women that clean your house (God Paris, how can you be that selfish?) and the girls who hang out at Burger King in downtown L.A.

Final grade: F